Stuck Spaces: Letting it all go

Or, how something always stays, doesn't it?

Let it all go, see what stays.

That’s the meme that goes around usually at this time of year, for Autumn, It got me to wondering, do we really let it all go? Really, do we? We say we do, but I suspect for many of us, we let some of it stay. Stay and maybe work on it the next year. At least, that’s been my experience.

I’ve been looking around at my life this month of October and realizing that yet again, the person I was a year ago is no longer the person I am now. I have puzzled some people with my silence, others with my disinterest in our usual gabfests. I have deepened relationships with others, people who were peripheral in my life, and now are my most cherished confidants. They are the most precious of treasures.

The last few months have been full of introspection for me. Slowly I have begun dropping things from my life that served no purpose, cleaned out junk drawers, let go of most of my social media, and all the tenuous connections with my previous life of ten years. My days are no longer shaped by the magic and its beauty in my life, instead it’s been filled with the very real reality of this harsh world that has been my constant reminder. There is still beauty, of course. I live in a stunning, mountainous environment, and I never take that for granted.

Yet this year I have noticed that my world shifted, as it does when family emergencies and illness touches your family, so much so that my usual practices have fallen by the wayside. At first, I thought it was post-trauma of Helene, and then my physical health. I’ve been steadily working my way through it all this past year, and can happily report that I feel more myself than I ever have. The practices that have sustained me previously still have not returned. I am not worried about it, just noting their absence.

And here we are, again at the season of shedding. I feel the familiar dread of winter and colder months, but it’s also a bit lighter, as I have discovered different practices that work for me. Honestly, after this past year, I am looking forward to hunkering down this winter, and have much to occupy me.

I am also shutting down my micro-business of card readings, consultations and Reiki. My brain has been rebelling at doing any of that work, and I have honored it. My website will be disappearing soon, and along with it, all the little things that sustained it, like my writing and my online presence.

The days ahead in this volatile world are going to be tough, and I have consistently received the message to “conserve your energy” for when it will be really needed, and I have heeded that. I urge you to do the same. I have gotten myself healthy, and in turn, have so much more clarity and stamina. While I will never be a morning person, I now awake early without the usual grogginess and grouchiness that defined my days. I move through the days so much differently now. I have dived more deeply into my spirituality, and it has brought me much peace.

This Substack is my last regular remnant in the online world. I keep my social media open but am not posting, hopping on to wish a quick Happy Birthday or to communicate with cherished people who are also not up for calling or texting. It feels good not to have as much of my day invested in scrolling, and it has enabled me to be much more present and available for what is needed in my daily life.

With the world the way it is, I also urge you to look into what you can let go and see what stays. After this year of post Helene life, health concerns, my partner Trevor’s health issues and the world engulfed in pain and misery, my focus remains on home and family. So I will let this Substack go, and no longer update it beyond this entry. You can unsubscribe at any time by going to your account, looking at Subscriptions and canceling this particular series. Substack is good at helping you if you get stuck with the process.

Every single dollar and subscription have meant the world to me. Many of you came through with donations here when I most needed it after Helene tore through Asheville. You kept me going, and for that I am eternally grateful. You have encouraged me and shared beautiful comments, sent me messages and additional funds of support. I will never forget it. Thank you so much.

My focus now is turning towards helping people in my immediate vicinity in a way I wasn’t able to when I was dealing with everything last year. I finally feel strong enough to do so, without the panic and fear I had to wade through to function in most of what transpired. My energies will be directed on ways I can help, how I can help and when I can help, and it will require much of my attention and time.

So, letting it all go? Seeing what stays? I am diving in fully, in ways I haven’t before. If you would like to stay in touch, I am a decent pen pal and would be happy to hear from you via positivepagan at gmail. I will always be there, and I will be sure to answer. Beyond that, time in front of me without reporting or checking in via social media? It feels like a Brave New World for me. Sounds a bit strange, but as I didn’t grow up with social media, it feels like returning to the Basics of Life. It feels good and much needed at this time.

Thank you again, for all the support and connection. It is deeply cherished by me.

Signing off on Stuck Spaces….

Lisa

*Cover art by monreal13 via Pixabay, with thanks.